Last tuesday, when i first met up wif wendy after her return to singapore she mentioned that one bad thing abt me is that i don't make a conscious effort to 'chase' a girl. We didn't really discuss abt it and kinda left it at that. Can't say if its been bothering me, but i do think abt it frm time to time. i guess being alone in the office gives me time to ponder on such stuff. so here i am typing haha... anyways, her comments have triggered questions in my head. Firstly, what constitutes 'chasing'? Is askin a girl out on dates 'chasing'? Must gifts be showered? Is chatting over the phone part of 'chasing'? To me 'chasing' happens when u try to impress the girl by obvious means instead of doin it subtlely. Secondly, its got me wondering if i had taken any actions wif girls i were fond of in the past wud things be any diff now. i believe when wendy said 'chasing' she meant goin abt making ur interest known disregarding the consequences of ur actions. pls correct me if i'm wrong wendy. This probably means surprising the girl with a gift for example. Yes it makes the girl feel special. I agree. but, really, how special is it? Think abt it. A guy does the very same thing to every girl he has interests in, regardless of whether things work out or not. Its not exclusive. So how can it be special? Ya, special for that moment when he thinks u're the one. The other thing is, if the girl only takes notice of me or reciprocrates the same feelings after i 'chase' her, is she truly fallin in love wif me or juz the romaticism of it all? will it be worth it? It certainly isn't to me. i'm not prepared to waste energy and effort on a girl to only find out that she was in it for the moment. I believe an approach with the intent of building a relationship with the foundation of communication and understanding is much more fruitful. Intimate consersations, opening up to one another, forming an emotional bond between each other. But i guess its alot harder this way cuz it leaves us very vulnerable to the other party. To share ur most private thoughts to someone requires alot of trust, and if that trust is broken it can leave us devastated. But i feel its worth it. Yes, it may be a slow process. Building trust does take time. But its alot more genuine becuz once the two make a commitment to each other, there is oredi a bond between the two.
sigh... not sure where i'm goin wif this one, haha.. juz writing wat ever comes to mind... guess i'll juz stop here for now. wat to do, i'm no expert in love haha
